The Importance of Caring for Yourself While Also Caring for Aging Parents

This topic is deeply personal to me. I'm at a stage in life where I’m fortunate to have a thriving young adult daughter who has recently launched into a career and a city she loves. At the same time, I'm blessed to have my parents—and an incredible stepmom—still with us. My daughter is in her mid-20s, while my parents, who had me later in life, are now in their mid-80s.

I never anticipated that my daughter’s blossoming independence would coincide with my parents gradually losing theirs.

Out of respect for my parents and all aging adults, I won’t get into the specifics of the challenges, stresses, and experiences they’re encountering with age. However, if you’re living through this stage of life with your parents, I’m confident you have experienced similar situations and feelings.

I want to encourage you today because I know how hard this can be. Witnessing your once-energetic parents begin to slow down can be overwhelming, whether it’s a decline in cognitive function, physical ability, or both.

I’m working with a coach to help navigate this phase of life, and I’m so grateful for her support. She provides a space to share my feelings, express my concerns, talk through scenarios, and set intentions and goals. Her guidance and the clarity I gain are invaluable, and I'm beyond appreciative. My parents are still aging (thankfully), and there are still challenges - most of which I don’t have answers to - but I often reflect on the learning acquired via my coaching sessions, and they continue to guide me through difficult moments.

If you are emotionally and physically exhausted, constantly worried about your aging parent’s future, doing everything you know how to do, and feeling like it’s not enough while also not knowing what to do next, please know you’re not alone.

If you are constantly running on empty and the stress of it all is manifesting itself in unhealthy ways – such as irritability, short temper, heavy drinking or eating, sleep loss, or physical symptoms like hair or weight loss - I highly encourage you to seek consistent, intentional emotional support for yourself so you can “fill-up” to effectively pour out for others.

Think of it this way: you couldn’t run your car on empty – in fact, I bet you wouldn’t even try. Dare I say, you’re more important than your car! It's essential to intentionally create time to refuel and recharge your battery—because it won’t happen on its own.

What does that look like for you? What is realistic? What can you re-prioritize or de-prioritize in your life to find time to park in a service station—not feel guilty about it—and restore yourself? I don’t have all the answers, but I believe you do. With the support of a coach or other trained professional, you can discover those answers through dedicated time and reflection.

If you are an elderly adult receiving care from a loved one, I want you to know that your feelings matter! You are experiencing a phase of life that isn’t often acknowledged with regard to emotional support. I see my parents—I can literally feel the emotions they are experiencing. It’s so hard because I know they want to talk about them, but they most often don’t, which I completely understand; talking to your kids about such things can be very difficult.

If you want someone to talk with about how you’re feeling, what you’re experiencing, your fears and hopes, what you’re looking forward to and/or dreading, etc., please get in touch with me; I’d be honored to spend time with you.

If you’re the loved one of an aging parent who you think would benefit from speaking with a compassionate, encouraging, unbiased third party, please connect them with me. I offer a complimentary 30-minute discovery call to start — no pressure, just a supportive conversation that could open the door to meaningful support.

To everyone reading this: be intentional about prioritizing yourself. Fill up with that premium fuel. Recharge your battery. Take the wheel of your life and feel empowered to face whatever comes your way. You’re not meant to live in the passenger seat—or worse, trapped in the trunk, gasping for air and feeling out of control.

You matter, and you don’t have to experience life alone or on empty.

With Deepest Sincerity,

Elizabeth Filin-Matthews, MSOD | CPC

Schedule Your Complimentary 30-Minute Session

#Aging #Caring4AgingParents #AgingParents #CaregiversSupport #Support4AgingParents #CareTakers