The Importance of Mindfully Establishing Your Priorities
- Elizabeth Filin-Matthews, MSOD | CPC
- Nov 18, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Mar 25
Every day, whether we realize it or not, we prioritize the circumstances of our lives. Where we will go, what we will do, who we will speak with, what we will eat, what we will focus on at work, and so on.
Whether we say the word or not, we always choose our priorities. What’s super impactful is when we do so mindfully. Stepping into awareness about the power of consciously establishing your priorities can be life-changing! When you begin evolving your speech to include the frame of establishing and sharing out loud your priorities, it can be very empowering.
Consider the following “default” statements and their reframed versions using the construct of “priority” or “prioritize.” Do you notice how the tone, energy, intention, and sense of empowerment shift with just a simple rephrasing?
Default: “I’m too busy to come to dinner with you all tonight.”
Reframe: “I’d love to join, but tonight, I’m prioritizing attending Jonathan’s soccer game.”
Default: “I didn’t have enough time to complete that report.”
Reframe: “Today, I prioritized resolving a customer matter before completing the report. Tomorrow, I will prioritize finishing the report.”
Default: “I don’t have enough money for that.”
Reframe: “I choose to prioritize paying my utility bill over buying the shoes.”
Default: “She quit playing basketball.”
Reframe: “She has chosen to focus on volleyball, prioritizing it over basketball.”
By shifting your language to reflect intentional prioritization, you communicate purpose and control over your choices, fostering clarity and empowerment in your interactions.
Why Prioritization Matters
By definition, a priority is “a thing that is regarded as more important than another.” The words "priority" and "prioritize" carry intentional weight. When you identify and act on your priorities, you're essentially setting boundaries around what you value most. This clarity helps ensure that your time and energy are directed toward what truly matters to you.
Priorities naturally evolve over different stages of life. For example, what feels essential in your 20s—perhaps friendships or career growth—may shift to family or personal well-being later on. This evolution often happens subconsciously, but bringing intentionality to these shifts can deepen your sense of purpose and fulfillment.
The Cost of Misaligned Priorities
Life often requires us to prioritize certain things out of necessity, responsibility, or a sense of obligation. This is completely normal. However, if you consistently shape your choices—what you do or don’t do—around external demands, the needs of others (real or perceived), or a desire to keep others happy at the expense of your own aspirations, a sense of imbalance can creep in. Over time, you may find yourself living a life that doesn’t align with what you would consciously and mindfully choose.
This misalignment doesn’t just stay beneath the surface; it will inevitably show itself in some way. You might develop coping mechanisms or keep yourself perpetually busy to avoid addressing the underlying discomfort. While this may work in the short term, it often comes at a significant cost to your emotional, physical, and mental well-being.
On the flip side, prioritizing only yourself without regard for relationships or obligations can lead to its own challenges, such as feelings of isolation or disconnection.
The key lies in intentionally cultivating a healthy, sustainable balance. By regularly reflecting on your priorities and adjusting them to honor both your needs and your responsibilities, you create a life that feels authentic, fulfilling, and connected. Small, mindful steps can make all the difference in moving toward the life you truly want to live.
Steps to Mindfully Set Your Priorities
Mindfully establishing your priorities is not just about organizing your life—it's about honoring what truly matters to you and creating a sense of balance and control. Let's explore how you can approach this process with mindfulness and self-compassion.
Reflect on Your Current Priorities: Take a moment to evaluate how you spend your time, energy, and money (i.e., what you prioritize) and examine how often you prioritize yourself over others. Is it balanced?
Say the Words: I encourage you to begin consciously thinking of your priorities and saying “priority” and “prioritized” to see if you start feeling more empowered and in control of your life.
Create a Daily Intentional Practice: Each morning is a fresh opportunity to set intentions regarding your priorities. Identify one or two key areas to focus on and consciously use the words “priority” and “prioritized” throughout the day. At night, review your day and assess how well your actions aligned with your goals.
Journaling Prompts for Mindful Prioritization
Journaling can be a powerful tool to gain clarity and reflect on your priorities. Thus, I urge you to prioritize (see what I did there? 😉) journaling daily or weekly on the matter. Here are some prompts to guide your practice:
What did I priorities today/this week?
Did my priorities reflect what I value most?
How often did I mindfully prioritize?
What challenges did I face and how can I address them moving forward?
How often did I say “priority” and “prioritize” to others and internally to myself?
Did my priorities feel balanced? (i.e., did I balance my needs with the needs of others?)
Reflect on your responses to the questions above, and then ask:
What am I learning about myself?
How do I want to take these learnings and move forward/grow?
Living Intentionally
Mindful prioritization is about living intentionally—making choices that reflect your core values and lead to greater fulfillment. Regularly assessing your priorities and aligning them with what truly matters to you can create a life of balance and meaning.
If you’re ready to embrace a more intentional approach to life, I’d be honored to support you on this journey. Together, we’ll begin with a values assessment, a transformative tool to help you identify what’s most important to you and uncover any disconnects between your values and priorities. From there, we’ll create a personalized plan to align your daily decisions with your vision for a life of purpose and balance.
Living intentionally is more than a goal—it’s a practice, a commitment to honoring yourself and what you stand for. Let’s take the first step together toward the life you deserve. Reach out today and discover the power of mindful prioritization. Your intentional life awaits!
With Sincerity,
Elizabeth Filin-Matthews, MSOD | CPC